When I was younger I did things without thinking them through first...as I still sometimes do today. I learned in order to avoid the whole "I'm sorry for..blah" I had to think things through and look at the bigger picture. Such as how the other person would feel or react to my words or my actions. You will be surprised what I came up with..
I have been deeply hurt by people close to me and those not so close to me. It's that one comment from someone that makes your heart just clench like its been put through a juicer. And for those moments, you experience rage, anger and all the above. You want to kill the person that brought such negative emotions into your cool demeanor.. but you also want to cry while stabbing them in the neck. The reason for that is a) what they said was the cold hard truth. b) the person that said those words or did you wrong was someone you love. c) you never knew/thought a person could be so cruel. We tend to take things that people we don't know or love say with a grain of salt. While those who we do care about and respect, their words, cut like knives.
The thing is how do we get over hurtful things people say or do... it is of course forgiveness. Forgiveness is often sought after in order to heal, BUT forgiveness starts within ourselves. We have to say "I forgive you", mentally in order to get over the hurdle that has hurt us emotionally. Now I know it feels a lot better when someone comes begging for forgiveness with your favorite food or flowers in hand (like a boyfriend or girlfriend who did something wrong) but the reality is forgiveness is something that happens from within.
Who wants to hold a grudge right? Get over it. Live
Renard
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