It's Coming.

The BIG comeback. See you Next Year. 

Shaken...Not Stirred

      I have had a rough week... in fact it seems that I had a beautiful nightmare. One of those weeks where you want to repeatedly pinch yourself to see if it's real. On Monday I got a phone call that I just landed a position at a new job and that same night I was robbed at gunpoint. #KanyeShrug. I hope they needed it more than I did.

       All I can say is that it is good to be alive. A phone and a wallet are replaceable. It's just metal, leather and a few strips of plastic. I still have my health, my new job, great friends and family and most importantly my life. This is just another road block that I have encountered and conquered in life. In this jungle we live in where the monkeys roam free, the hyenas never sleep and the vultures linger around to pluck whatever is left of humanity the only thing we can really do is survive. 

     Jay and Ye weren't lying. There is No Church in the Wild. Let's just say I'm a firm believer in karma and there is no doubt that we get back what we put into this life. I'm over it. People...I swear, need to get themselves some business and stay out of mine. I'm singing in my head "If I ruled the world"..

Until tomorrow comes take care for now,

- Renard

Land of the Misfit Hoes.

     In a world where celebrities are looked at as deities instead of regular human beings such as ourselves I see why it is easy to lose touch with "reality". I think it starts when we're all young. Disney makes movies with happy endings.  You know the whole song and dance... princesses always have the picture perfect lives with just the right amount of drama to keep them busy until they find prince charming. But what if Ciderella didn't go to the ball? Would she have gotten a 9-5 and bought her own glass slippers RED BOTTOMS?

      Everyone wants the glamorous life complete with a closet full of expensive things, a successful man to take care of them and a myriad of people that follow and answer every beck and call. Who wouldn't like that? To be honest, I would love designers begging to dress me. All I would have to do is go out to eat at some fancy restaurant and get paid. Everything would come easy. My cardio would consist of me lifting my finger to swipe my black card...with no credit limit. 

     You have girls who are famous for just being famous like Amber Rose, Paris Hilton, and Kim Kardashian. The only difference is that they have connections, a good stylist, scandal, a banging body and most importantly MONEY. Kim K is all over the media because of her failed marriage fluke to Kris Humphries. Let's face it, Kris Humphries got got. Although I do have a ton of respect for Kim for milking the media tit for as long as she did. The girl got paid big time. All she has to do is continue to keep folk interested by doing the least. I can't knock her grind... she has earned it by sucking and fucking her way to the top. Kim K... girl.. I'm just "Keeping it Real".

     I guess reality stars and media whores can teach us all a lesson and that is if they aren't talking about you then you must be doing something wrong. So until I get to where I'm going I'm gonna grind until my goals are fulfilled and dreams become reality.
   

- Renard

I just wanted to say....

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!!!

Have Fun, Dress Warm & MOST IMPORTANTLY BE SAFE!!!!!

- Renard

We Found Love?

"Love can be found like pennies on the ground... that shit isn't love."

     Some of us would like to think that we have found love in a hopeless place but your odds in finding love in a hopeless place is like finding an $80.00 bill in the middle of Target®. If that's the case then I found love in a back of a subway car... I didn't know their name, but we fucked... and I LOVED it.

     When it comes to love people take it to new extremes. Some think that this idea of love is something that is supposed to be cookie cutter perfect, complete with a white picket fence and a few children. Some think that love consist of random moments of drama and make up sex. While love to me cannot be defined by words, but I do feel that love is some type of deep complex feeling/emotional bond with another.

     The media doesn't necessarily give good examples of what love is (i.e. Chris Brown & Rihanna or even Bey & Jay). I always say what's normal for me isn't always considered normal to others. So whatever works for you may be best... for you. If you ask Michelle how she found Barack or even how Oprah found Gayle, I'm pretty sure they won't say they found their love in a hopeless place... Now Bobby and Whitney, that's a different story. LOL ;-)

 

P.S. I love We Found Love in a Hopeless Place... and the video is hot.

- Renard

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!

It's my 22nd Birthday!

I'm so excited to see another year of progress and growth!

I would like to thank everyone who has been on my journey so far in life.

And we're on to the next level...

Let's Celebrate!

- Renard

Drinks anyone???

     It's Fall and love is in the air and drinks are everywhere. And me... well I'm just having a good time. During one of my outings something caught my attention while sitting at the bar with friends. I was looking at my glass and wondering if it was half full or half empty. People always have their theory on whether their glass is half full or half empty. Well... I never got the point of that shit. I would like to think my glass has always been have full. It's always better to have a little something than to claim little or next to nothing. That's just my philosophy on it.

     Recently my glass has run over with many different opportunities and decisions which to me is a good thing. I like to stay busy and keep things fresh. You don't go to a bar and order the same drink every time do you? Needless to say, I definitely have my work cut out for me in the near future. I hope everyone is enjoying life and keeping their glasses full. Life is a celebration, and everyday I awake to see a new day; I'm gonna party.

- Renard

Fall... in Love?

     Well here we are, October has come thru with a vengeance! We have had a chilly weekend here in the DMV complete with hoodies, jackets, coats, knitwear and lots of layering. Needless to say I was out in the mess enjoying every bit of it. I honestly couldn't wait for the Fall weather so I could dress warm and get cozy on those chilly nights. Football anyone?

     Fall is that time of year for comfort food, chunky sweaters, and boo loving. That's correct, "boo loving".

I know many of folk who are looking for a "boo" to keep them warm during these cooler months...and I don't blame them. It's nice to have someone to cuddle up with after a long day of being out in the elements. As Bill Withers would say "we all need somebody to lean on". Well, just don't lean on ME lol. In all seriousness it's is so easy to fall in love during the Fall.

     Fall is when mother nature shows off her beauty. Trees shed their once green leafs in exchange for shades of orange and hues of brown leaves that dance gracefully in the wind. People literally seem to come out of the woodwork after the summer is long gone and the muscle shirts and short shorts are put away. There are many potential boyfriends, girlfriends and lovers who are single and looking for something to hold onto. Some are happy being single and a good book and a hot drink will get them through those cold nights. But if you're like me and have been single for a while then this is the opportunity to get to know someone "special".

     Some of us are looking for temporary companionship and some are looking for the long term. But whatever you are looking for, just make sure it's worth the fall.

P.S. It's breast cancer awareness month. Oh, and GO RAVENS!!!

- Renard

Who Am I ????

     This blog should be called WHO I AM because as of late everyone seems to have these preconceived notions about who I happen to be. I use to say "I am whatever you think I am" because I simply didn't care about what others thought; now I'm putting it all out there. There are people who believe that I'm just another gay guy who is supposed to be flamboyant and worships Beyonce. I couldn't be further from that stereotype. I actually worship Rihanna. LOL, just kidding. I'm more than my sexual orientation. I'm a man that just happens to be attracted to other men and gorgeous women.

      There are people who say that I scream SEX. Maybe it is because of my Scorpio horoscope. I don't know; I don't try to be sexy. I asked some of my close friends and they just said I give off a vibe and one said that it was all in my eyes. #KanyeShrug. Being sexy is not a bad thing I guess. You guys haven't seen me 1st thing in the morning. Some people think I'm self absorbed when I just really have a healthy amount of confidence and self-esteem but who wants to be a Debbie Downer?

     I hate when people say that I'm trying to be something. As if everyday is Halloween and I'm just playing dress up. I don't like the term "trying"... I'm not trying to be anything. There's no adjective that can describe me. A lot a things that people assume about me are just that...assumptions. I don't dare to be different. I just am.

I love who I am. I own who I am. My body and my soul are the only things that truly belong to me in this life. No one and or no thing could take myself away from me. Who I am today will be who I am tomorrow... just another day wiser. ;-)

- Renard

Under Construction...

     As you all probably know, I'm single. That's definitely something to be happy about and enjoy; especially when you're young. I have come across many different people and personalities in life so far and I'm discovering more and more about myself and the ways of others. I love all people. Even the annoying, self righteous and the repugnant ones. They all can get a hug and a smile because that's just the kind of person I am.

     The funny thing is I'm writing this entry because on my way to work everyday I ride past the workplace of my ex. And every time I ride past there is always construction taking place. Building something better and working on what needs to be fixed: under construction.

     I have taken the time out from the social scene for a while just to do some self reflection. I call it being on a "people diet". It makes sense and I recommend everyone to try it. I'm the most personable, social butterfly I know and I still need that time off to give back to myself. So if I don't reply to txt messages promptly, get on social media websites often or even answer the phone. I will get back to you soon. Just like the recording says "leave a message after the beep, ttyl".

- Renard

Motivation.

For some, it may be the money, maybe it's to get to their "happy", or even to prove something to someone.

     Whatever your motivation may be, make sure you do it for YOU. That is the most important thing. Money only last as long as your making it, happiness is not a destination, and those extra pounds you want to shed should be done because YOU want to lose the spare tire... No one else. Just you. Life is script and you're the author. Go apply for that job, move to a new location, save those dollars, get that degree, find yourself a good guy or lady, lose the weight. Be brave, fearless, courageous and most importantly... get motivated to do what YOU want to do in life.

Be who you want to be.

- Renard

Relationship 101:

     The topic of sex, love, pain etc... has always been kinda deja vu to me. It's always the same scenario. Boy meets girl, girl falls for boy or vice versa. One is more dominant and the other more passive. Blah Blah Blah. Let the game begin with Relationship 101. I recently had several conversations with friends on relationships and things of that matter. I have found that a lot of us don't even know what a relationship is. We build up ideas in our head that relationships are supposed to be this picture perfect, cookie cutter concept based on what we see in movies, books, reality etc.

     I have a female friend who desperately wants to be in a relationship. Now this goes back to the build up of what a relationship should be. It looks good on paper but in reality you never know what you really want until you test the waters. The idea of a long term relationship may look good but six months in and after the "honeymoon stage" you may notice things about the other person that may be hard to swallow. Just look at these movies as a reference: What's Love Got to Do With It and Waiting to Exhale. Are you Tina or are you Bernie?

      I also talked with one of my male friends who said he wouldn't mind a relationship just because he gets bored being by himself. "Well, why can't you entertain yourself?" I asked. The response was "There's nothing to do by myself". Translation: "I don't want to be seen as a loner going out to eat or to the movies by myself." There is plenty to do by yourself and quite frankly I enjoy making moves by myself sometimes. It can be fun; exciting even. You can meet new people without the crowd of your friends or a date. I call it being in a relationship with yourself.


     Two of my associates have said they haven't had sex in months. One admitting it has been a whole year. The two associates have said they wouldn't mind someone to cuddle with... and we all know what cuddling leads to.

Mhmmmm. I even know a few virgins who aren't strung out on the idea of sex or a relationship.

     Some of us believe in finding the "one" and some of us believe in friends with benefits. There's a balance and a comparison in there somewhere. A relationship is a concept that we all fall in love with but aren't willing to see past the glitz and glamor to reveal what the true meaning of it is.

When you find out, let me know.

-Renard

Get Back to Business

     August has been one of those uninspiring months for me. I have actually been really busy... (just look at my last Twitter update). Besides being busy I have had absolutely nothing to talk about. Things that were once important became my last priority and the winds have changed...literally. In August I not only experienced my 2nd earthquake but I also survived that bitch of a hurricane "Irene" with no scratches; just a few days without electricity. I hope everyone had a productive month and I will make it a point to do more posts in the near future. 

Let's get back to business.

BTW, Beyoncé is knocked up ya'll! *giggles*

Express Yourself!

Everyday the world awakes and goes about their normal routine of the morning stretch followed by some sort of morning ritual. For some it's a shower that gets them going and for others it's a tall caffeinated drink but for me it's what I'm going to wear; who am I going to be today?

Everyday celebrities and a select few of us normal folk arise and get fabulous for the world to see. I Vito my entire wardrobe the night before so that when I awake I will have some clue as to what I will wear and how I will present myself. So I wake up wipe the dust from my eyes and put some music on, do my morning ritual, check the news to see the weather forecast and then its on. I stumble through pairs of shoes scattered across the floor and rumble through my closet as I glance over to my clock to make sure I'm not running late because it's one thing to be fashionably late and just plain late.

After looking at and trying on different garments I finally throw something together that just feels right. Because you have to wear the clothes.. not let the clothes wear you. The whole point is that I express myself in many different ways. Whether I write, state my P.O.V, or just get dressed; I live with purpose.

After all, I don't get dressed up NOT to be seen. lol

HEAT WAVE 2011

 

Well here I am, I survived the heat wave that hit up and down the east coast. Temperatures sky rocketed to 103 degrees with heat index's up to 127. Although it has grown to more comfortable temperature in the DMV I still feel as if this heat wave is not over. We shall see. Until then you will find me indoors with the a/c on full blast. I like being wet, but not with sweat.. well maybe. ;-) 

Amy Amy Amy...

"3 shots of Jack
straight and back to back
Here I go Amy
On my way Back to Black"

140 Words or Less...

In this era of technological abbreviations it is a lot easier to communicate via web, phone etc... But is the ever advancing world of technology making private life not so personal?

Throughout the day I like to take to my blackberry and storm the web/facebook/twitter with things that happen around me and random ideas that just happen to pop into my head based off the trending topic of the day. While scrolling my never ending timeline I see information from those I follow which leave very little to the imagination.

Twitter/Facebook are some of the most self incriminating sites that people venture to each day. Some take to the web to rant about their "oomf" who called them at 3am last night and some, just to inform you of which song they are "now playing" (like we give a shit). There are those who go from married to divorced to widowed and then back to single within an hour and then there are people who just want to slap you across the face with a happy stick because they are having such an awesome day. Well I'm not happy.



People, WE DON'T NEED TO KNOW YOUR EVERY MOVE..and you shouldn't want us to. I mean think about it. Do you really want your serial killer looking stalker to know that your down the street at the local Starbucks enjoying a Venti Frappuccino? NO.. didn't think so. So next time you think about tweeting, posting a status, or informing the public that your down the street and around the corner REMEMBER that crazy follower "@desperatedebbie" or Facebook friend "Jerome "CaniGetyaNumber" Jenkins" is following everything you say/do.

Something to think about.


Renard

Forgiveness Pt. 1

When I was younger I did things without thinking them through first...as I still sometimes do today. I learned in order to avoid the whole "I'm sorry for..blah" I had to think things through and look at the bigger picture. Such as how the other person would feel or react to my words or my actions. You will be surprised what I came up with..

I have been deeply hurt by people close to me and those not so close to me. It's that one comment from someone that makes your heart just clench like its been put through a juicer. And for those moments, you experience rage, anger and all the above. You want to kill the person that brought such negative emotions into your cool demeanor.. but you also want to cry while stabbing them in the neck. The reason for that is a) what they said was the cold hard truth. b) the person that said those words or did you wrong was someone you love. c) you never knew/thought a person could be so cruel. We tend to take things that people we don't know or love say with a grain of salt. While those who we do care about and respect, their words, cut like knives.

The thing is how do we get over hurtful things people say or do... it is of course forgiveness. Forgiveness is often sought after in order to heal, BUT forgiveness starts within ourselves. We have to say "I forgive you", mentally in order to get over the hurdle that has hurt us emotionally. Now I know it feels a lot better when someone comes begging for forgiveness with your favorite food or flowers in hand (like a boyfriend or girlfriend who did something wrong) but the reality is forgiveness is something that happens from within.

Who wants to hold a grudge right? Get over it. Live

Renard

The Past..Present...and the Unknown

Over the past year I have found peace and acceptance within myself. I have prayed for a complete makeover and boy was I in for a HUGE wake up call. Those around me have showed me their true colors. Love was lost then found...then lost again. There's really no such thing as a fairytale ending. You have to make a change for yourself.. and it starts with you. Those close to me.. my family have become my bitter enemies and friendships have grown stronger than ever. I thank the big guy upstairs for opening my eyes and allowing me to see that "hey, not everyone's gonna like Renard".. that's life.


As far as love is concerned I was blinded by a sweet personality and insecurities that I wasn't ready to face yet. I fell in love in October and out of it by March. The biggest issue was communication and understanding. I play by my rules and he played by his. But what can I say...I'm selfish. That's just me.



I have since faced certain things and have overcome obstacles that have stood in my way of complete happiness. Do I regret anything that has happened thus far.. hmmm maybe.. Am I completely satisfied with life right now.. Hell NO. But it gets better, I know it does. And what can I say about the future other than the fact that I can close my eyes before I go to sleep and pray for a better tomorrow.

Until tomorrow comes, take care for now.

Renard

It's been a GOOD MIN!

It has been over a year since I have taken the time out to write..publicly. I'm really interested in doing this shit again. I was suddenly drawn to write. Now bear with me because I'm going to be doing a lot of catching up.



Check the new name!

Follow me on twitter: @DuhHeBadd