Me, Myself and....

Well I can't believe it's the end of June already. Actually I can. During the month of May to where I am today I have been taking a lot of time for myself. Some may question my exisitence in the world of technologhy. The truth is I never left. I have been sitting back and watching the days get longer and sweat while the weather got hotter. There have been changes in this guy I call "Kendrick"... change for the better. Not like a false promise made by delegates hoping to gain some type of following, but real change. It feels good to sit back and be alone but not lonely. Just me, myself and my thoughts.

Through the time of self reconstruction I smirked as my phone rung and no one answered. To tell the truth I rather throw my phone into a fire to be cremated than to listen to issues pertaining to the bullshit that comes with people having access to my number. The month of June had it's highs which outweighed the lows but all in all this month has been about reassurance. I have said what was on my mind and for once I don't regret anything. It' feels good. I feel like everything is coming full circle... like I'm coming into myself. Evolving. Living not Exisiting. Being what I long to become.

-Iconic.

The C.R.E.A.M

Dear diary... today a question arose in my head. Does money really rule everything around me? Money... sad to say creates a persons status in the world. Money controls your environment, the friends you make and the people you date. Recently I've noticed myself being a little more aware of my actions and what I say being perceived by others. And after careful observation I found that people like to be around me just because I have a pretty amazing personality (if I may say so myself). Though some may only see the outside I am thankful for those who see the bigger picture. Those who really see and understand Kendrick.

Yes money can buy you cute clothes, fly shoes and even a car. But money can not buy you honesty, true friends or a personality.



And of course I have come to another one of my conclusions that at the end of the night when we kick off the Manolo's and wipe the day from our face all we have is ourselves. I have me;; and my clothes. lls



Take care,

*Kendrick

My April.

Dear April...

What thee fuck was I thinking? I was indeed an "April Fool" last month. A fool in love to be exact. I was emotionally unstable and unable to really put in words exactly how I felt about this predicament; I was indescribable. I fell in love in the beginning and out of love in the end. I won some and lost one. So I guess you can say that the victor was I.

Here is what I lost:
LOVE.



Here is what I gained:




Haaaha ha ha. I win and you lose! In my best Nicki Minaj voice.


So I have a new love in my life and he comes complete with a sunroof, blue leather interior and a lot of trunk space to support my shopping habits.



Shopping for labels;; Shopping for love

*Kendrick

I'm BACK!

A whole month has gone by without one blog from yours truly. So here I am. I'm back to tell you about how my April was and how my May has been. Stay tuned!!! X's & O's

*KENDRICK

April Fools.

Here it is again...another rather useless day and one of the most nautical days of the year; April Fools Day. Well I have been feeling pretty down lately. So sorry for the #Hiatus. I am typing on my phone at the moment because there seems to be an issue with my browser and my blog. I am still alive though!

It is officially Spring and the weather is fine! I love this time of year where I can just throw on my favorite pair of jeans and a tee (bring a cardigan or a little jacket for the evening) and just relax. It feels good to just kick back just as long as no one pulls a chair out from under me and geers "April Fools". lol Thats not cool. But I could not be happier if I was to fall back onto the lush green grass and lay there staring at the clouds and breathing slowly looking into the sun. Can you imagine that? This is a moment where time would stand still and I could be carefree. A moment that would take my breath away and all that stress from the big city.

I don't believe I have written about my experience at the Freedom Tour featuring headliner Alicia Keys with special guests Robin Thicke and Melanie Fiona. Here's to all three a of the very talented artists. Thank you for stopping past the DMV. They performed an excellent show!


I hope everything works out between my blogger and my browser. That way I can add fun little pictures and everyone will be happy! Enjoy the Spring. Pull some pranks. Remember to always play safe but most importantly have fun!

Until next time,

~ Kendrick

The Beast.

I sit in the dark, it's a cold and lonely place. I wonder if you are lurking in the shadows while I remain blissfully unaware of your presence. A blank stare lies across my face. I gaze out of the window. Past the midnight blue sky, beyond the gray veil of clouds embedded with diamonds; a perfect night. I am awed by the moon and all of its stages from crescent to a new. My soul searches for you, my mind beckons you and my body desires your touch. Where art thou howl?

~ Kendrick

I GO GREEN...

I also Hate Holidays. lol But really today was a beautiful day not to mention it was Saint Patty's Day. Today it killed me to see so many pigmented people walking around with emerald eyes and green shoelaces. Nice weather for a cliche holiday that left me wondering... "Where are my lucky charms?"


So here I sit on the other side of the rainbow as happy as can be. Living life and taking full responsibility for everything I am and everything I am not. Thank god I'm not a leprechaun. It has to be pretty stressful on the little guys. I mean they are gingers who don't tan well...at all. But keeping a pot of gold safe is as tough as keeping my heart under lock and key. Everyone seems to want a bite of Kendrick. I have love and I give as much as I take and sometimes more.



Everything happens for a reason so they say. I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. I have family, friends and a few leprechauns on the side. ;-)=

"You can catch me after the rain. I'll be at the other side. Of the colorful bow. Bent across the sky."

~ Kendrick

Love Quote.

Here is a little piece of me.

"There is a place in time and a time within a place where everything is perfect. Does it exist? You bet... Every time I look into your eyes."

~ Kendrick

On a never ending Quest...

In life we all search for something. We may search for happiness, money, love and including ourselves. Being that I am happy with the way things are right now ( and I tend to be happy all the time) I believe nothing can make make us so unhappy or unsatisfied that we can't pull through to true happiness. Whenever I am in a situation that I know is no good for me or beneficial for growth I leave; I walk away. I believe we are in control of our own happiness. So ask yourself "What makes me happy?" And do whatever you have to do to bring that happiness through to you everyday.

Now some may believe money is happiness and some may think that money is the root of all evil. But I will tell you what money can and cannot buy. Money can buy you cute shoes, a nice new haircut, a car, a house and even temporary friends. But with all of the things you can buy with money does that credit card also buy you happiness? Money cannot buy you true happiness, money cannot buy you love, money cannot buy you back lost time. True happiness has to come from within. So with each swipe of your Visa ask yourself "Am I buying something that truly makes me happy?" Let me know if you can answer this.



Now the biggie. That's right; love. Many of us are in search of "the one". The "one" that will come along and scoop us out of the single line and into a life of bliss. You may ask "Is there someone really out there for me?" And the answer to that is of course there is. They are just hidden under a rock keeping a close watch on you waiting for the right time to approach. Now just like money, I do not recommend depending on someone or something else to make you happy. It's okay to be in a relationship with yourself. I love myself and that is enough. Even though at the end of the day it is comforting to know that someone out there really loves you for who you are (i.e. Family/friends). Now TELL yourself this "There is always one person that will love me." And that person is you.


Last but certainly not least is being on a never ending quest to find ourselves. I find something new about myself everyday. From things I like to things I dislike. And based off of the oh so many things I have experienced in life I continue to grow and blossom into the person I am today. I am never satisfied with just knowing enough to get by. There are so many mysteries of the world unsolved and so much knowledge that is available FOR FREE (i.e. Libraries, elders, museums). If you close yourself off to the new ways of life you may miss out in all the fun which could bring you that happiness, the money and even that one true love. Ask yourself this "If I met me...would I know me?"


At the end of the day You control your own fate. You control your own happiness. You are in control of your own life. I am in control of my own destiny, my own happiness, my own money, and the people that I choose to love.

~ Kendrick

Faux Friends

So this year is all about moving forward correct? Well there have been snakes dwelling in my yard for too long and its time for me to bring out the lawn mower. That's right get rid of these pests which seem to pop up in text messages, random phone calls, and emails. One snake whose rent was due has gotten the eviction notice. This snake claimed to be my "bestie" while also being a "bitch". Here's how it all went down.

Snake: Are we even still friends? (after at least a month of not talking)

Me: Yea (I'm not going to deny someone who still wants to give it a try)
*A couple seconds later*

Me: You know I could really care less about the status of our friendship. I have my priorities and you have yours.

Snake: Thanks for being honest.
Snake: I usually don't keep friends this long anyway.

FIN.

Later on that night I was on Twitter <---- follow on the side. And I spotted the snakes account and to my not so surprise the BIO section read: "LOVES SEX". Now me being the private person that I am... I do not like when people put themselves out there. So can you say #BLOCKED.

I get a txt later from the snake...it was some bullshit. I barely glanced and just deleted the message. My Reply was "its been over #okbye."

END OF STORY FOLKS.

Sometimes you just have to let things go and move on. When you get bit by a snake they tell you to suck the poison out right? That's what I'm doing... sucking the poison out of my life.

Okay #NEXT


~ Kendrick

Share the love...

Welcome. Love is in the air today and hate for some but I in particular feel festive being that I do have a beautiful life to love. I'm a lover and lovers love life...not to mention yes, I too have a Valentine this year. This year brings a whole new meaning to the spirit of Valentines day. This year brings change all over. It brings a change in the White House, it brings change in relationships and changes in the choices we make everyday. This year seems to all about love and how we share it; Equality if you will (i.e. The Armani Exchange Ad above). Yes, two guys, two girls, and the hetero couple in between. You gotta love it!

If your single its the perfect opportunity to start looking and examining your choices. Because like you, there are others out there in search for love. Or maybe your not looking and your happily single and not so ready to mingle...which is good. I'm all for independence (the shoes on my feet; I BROUGHT EM!) lol. I like to see the whole cliche couple stuff like Public Displays of Affection, Stuffed Teddy Bears and the infamous Heart shaped box of chocolates. Its cute (in small doses). In all of this don't forget to LOVE YOURSELF FIRST!



Now, I have said I don't believe in fairytale life stories and I stand by that still. I mean Cinderella had to go through a lot just to get her prince charming including keeping a fresh pedicure so her feet can floss in those glass slippers. And Prince Charming had to slay dragons and demons just to even get to the princess and then still had to deal with her family in the end. Point blank: There will be times on our conquest for love where we may come across detours some good some bad. But we must fight. Because if love won't save the day then what will? So I hope all those soldiers of love out there cuddle up with your significant other and let them know how much they mean to you not just today but EVERYDAY!

After all, you had to fight to find the one didn't you?

Happy Valentines Day!

~ Kendrick

Cabin Fever...

Once again I am trapped inside with hopes of Spring to come early this year. The snow outside paints a different story. The snow seems to destroy my dreams turning my hopes into a hopeless reality where there is a sled dog race being held outside of my window. Each snow flake seems to have a word or phrase on it such as "I come to destroy your social life" and "LOL, try again next season" mocking in what I truly believe is the worst blizzard to hit the DMV since the last millenium. Doesn't the snow know who I am? I need to be around a different environment at least every other day if not everyday. I need to be taken out of my comfort zone to experience something new and marvelous or something frighting and life changing. Did I mention that I am in dire need of an intense make out session?

I'm Dying over here.

So until this stuff melts away I will be taking down this snow one flake at a time. Just me and this blow dryer. LOL ;-) Just kiddin.

Be Safe,

~ Kendrick

DAMN Mother Nature!!!

Lay off the PMS and get some damn MIDOL!! Sheesh! This force of nature made it Rain, NO Snow, sleet, Ice all over the place. Hitting the DMV pretty hard. We are talking about at least 3 feet of snow and here I am snowed in which I HATE! I don't like being unproductive and the only time I have free time is when I sleep... which rarely happens. lol. So the wrath of "Mother Nature" took at least two branches off the everlasting evergreen tree in the front yard. BITCH!! At least there was no damage to the property and everyone made it through night. I spent two days shoveling snow and it shows. I have a pathway through the "Great Walls of Snow" i built leading to the cars. All of the shoveling seemed pretty pointless being that the alley way is still completely covered with the white stuff.

Those damn meteorologist were very much on point with predicting the weather even though I consider them to be very unnecessary. I mean we could just look up at the sky and tell if we should grab an umbrella or a blanket and a picnic basket. Okay, I think I'm done ragging on poor Mother Nature for doing her job. Maybe if I was still a kid I would be as happy as a polar bear but I'm grateful that the storm wasn't worse. I grateful that the snow storm didn't come with earthquakes and tornadoes. (My love goes out to all of those suffering not only in Haiti but around the world. To the homeless children begging on the streets in Shanghai China to the abused animals wandering around looking for food.) *Yes I care about every creature big or small*

Well its Super Bowl Sunday and you know what the best part of it is: The Halftime Show! Hopefully it's actually someone I like this year. But regardless I will keep my eyes and ears open when it goes down. Uh, by the way who's playing this year? lol. I could care less when it comes down to it. My Ravens didn't make it this year. Can you say #NEXT? We shall see.

Enjoy,

~ Kendrick

Egos are Unattractive..

And if you have one lose it... quick! Egos are not attractive on anyone including celebrities and the people that consider themselves celebrities. This applies to both my ladies and my dudes whose ego is driven by the car they drive, the clothes they wear, or even the job they have. It's so annoying to see grown men and women who have these quote on quote "Egos". And we all know them to be the ones to live their lives through material things. In some cases it is not about material items maybe its looks? Narcissism anyone? Narcissism is a disorder! Sheesh, so that must mean that having an ego equals having a mental disorder? Hmmm... let us read on.

Now having an ego is not to be misconstrued with being confident.


Confidence is a good things and in most cases confidence is the backbone which drives us to try new things, to venture out into the wilderness alone, to walk into that interview with our heads held high. Its more of an inbound emotion that we bring out in everyday life. Not only when we get a fresh cut fellas or when you get a new pair of Jimmy Choos; but it should be moderately in effect all of the time. But when you are just plain arrogant for no apparent reason #letsbehonest... It just makes you look like a JACKASS! So to all my folk with "Egos" its time to humble yourself. It makes a difference when you actually care. When you give respect you earn respect.
EGO?

Nah ma dude.. "We Off That"

~ Kendrick

My 1st time...

Okay so here it is; the first of the month. When women pick up checks and I realize its the time to return to school. Another new starts with this month as we all know it is Black History Month. But there is nothing like the 1st day of school. It was the night before the big day ( the return to class after a semester hiatus) and so many thoughts and emotions ran through my mind. Thinking of how this semester will be different to what I would wear on the first day back. I was in bed tossing and turning trying to keep my eyes shut like a child in hopes of Old Saint Nick bringing tons of gifts the next morning. I couldn't believe it; I couldn't sleep! I was excited, nervous, enticed, upset that I was as giddy as a school girl awaiting the arrival of junior prom.

I lay there thinking to myself "I've done this before too many times" but why is every time the same. Whether its the night before a big trip or that one hour before a blind date; I always seem to get excited. What causes this? Is it the fear and curiosity of the unknown or the inevitable question in the back of my head wondering if something could go wrong. Or maybe its that yearning to want to know more and discover new things. That sounds about right... But no matter how many times we experience "1st time events" in our lives there will always be that feeling of excitement and nervousness. Whether its the 1st breath of life or the 1st day of school. What makes the start of a new so enticing? MOTIVATION.

When we are born we have the motivation and drive to learn how to crawl, walk, run, then ride a bike, then drive a car. We are curious about everything around us because it is all foreign. We want to learn about new people, places and things. So as children we throw caution to the wind and just go with it. We as adults have built an up walls of emotion based on experiences throughout life. Some that may help us avoid awkward or dangerous situations and some that may hurt the opportunities of possible relationships and promotions in our lives. So the million dollar question is... Why do we let emotions get in the way of our own inevitable manifest?

POINT BLANK: FUCK EMOTIONS. THROW THAT CAUTION TO THE WIND AND LETS GET IT!

~ Kendrick

I apologize...

Okay I'm BACK!! I was feeling a little stifled but the cabin fever has brought me back to reality. Blogs are coming today!

Time... how many of us have it?

I'm back once again to blog about nothing, but I feel the need to add my .36839 cents into everything so here it is. I awoke out of my slumber way too early for anyone's comfort zone, avoided my mirror and headed down stairs dodging rays of sunlight peering through the blinds. Sound like a vampire right? The next thing your expecting me to say is that I had a vats of blood to go with the dry cereal I ate. Not at all just my favorite organic whole milk from Trader Joes. So here I sit on the couch in which it seems everyone inhabits when eating. I didn't even feel like turning on the blank screen that sat before me, mocking me with its reflection. I sat and took my first real breath of the morning which surprisingly smelled pleasant. (good toothpaste huh?) I gobbled down the meal of 40 something year old women on a diet (Cherrios) and just sat there gazing into the future of Kendrick.

Hmmm, I could lie and say the future looks fantastic; complete with a mini mansion which holds a three car garage, grotto, a butler, maid, an in home chef and Beyonce slaying in the living room. But to be brutally honest I see the future as most of us see it: uncertain. I have dreams that I would like to come true, I have many ideas and philosophies that I would love to share and goals that I would like to accomplish. So in the present time where I have so many questions and uncertainties I think about the future time and how much or how little time there is.

Time; we don't realize how fast it goes. Maybe because we sit in that boring class repeatedly looking at the clock to see if the hands have moved. Or maybe its that part time job where time seem drip drop like a broken faucet. The point is that we have so much time on our hands to get out and do the things we want to do but it is all about how we utilize those periods of "free time". Are we to enthralled with preexisting ideas or activities that we forget to make time for the things that we want to do or things that are important to us? Yes! And since we can not technically make time then your ass better become an insomniac quick just to keep up with the Jones'. Because the only time you ever catch me sleeping is when I'm tired of you hoes. Until then I'm going to wake my ass up early every morning or just say fuck sleep just to keep time and my future secure. I intend on having all of that mentioned above and more.



So for all of you who are sleeping or simply wandering around with your eyes wide shut. It's time to wake the hell up. Lets get it.




U MAD?


~ Kendrick

Are you irreplaceable?

Another evening of thinking to myself in solitude. Just me, the laptop and my thoughts. The idea of being here alone is making me think of the song "Me, Myself and I"...And no NOT Beyonce. I'm talking about the old school group De La Soul. This funky uptempo song is a happy, self excepting and just plain fun. So here I am looking back on past relationships as a free (single) individual with a desire to seek out how things went down. I look back and think "hmmm, I wonder what happened to that one?" and "what the hell was I thinking?" and then a pop!...there it is.

We live in a society where it seems the men and women are dispensable creatures whom roam around the city with horse blinders on. Unable to see the true beauty of love; not just in other humans but in other nouns too. We take for granted that everything that we love and care for can be gone in a instant. Those precious photographs washed away in a flood, your dog being hit by a car, being involved in a car accident that took your thought and memories with it. Those things are important, those are things that we care about the most.

Just think of your very first crush. You might not have even known anything but their name. Picture them being taken from you. Or a expecting mother who just found out the baby she has cared for and carried for nine months was still born. You still have that connection, those emotions, those feelings towards the nouns that mattered most in your life. So even if its the first love letter you received or a teddy bear that you had since you were a young sprout. CHERISH THEM. CHERISH LIFE. MAKE EVERYDAY SOMETHING TO STAND AND BE PROUD FOR. Because you never know what you've got until its gone.

I'm sorry Beyonce but some things are just not "Replaceable".

~ Kendrick

Love without Sacrifice equals.....

So it's a typical night and I'm sitting in front of 2 screens one hosting a myriad of tabs holding future shopping endeavors and the other showing "The Real World" (yea right). I'm up, as usual around 3:00 am trying to figure out how to make a change for the better being that its a new year and all.

So I come across a certain saying...NO question which states "Whats love without sacrifice?" OK NOW! I have had my fair share of the good, bad and the down right ugly side of relationships, but what happens when we actually find "love"? For some its nothing but a pure blissful MUTUAL connection for one another; but for some its just lust; SEX. Now based on a few years of experience I have learned to seperate the two. I have managed to keep the heart away from a not so serious relationships where I just do the dirt, pick up and move on. Now in the past when I was just a pure innocent soul I believed in true love and finding that quote on quote "ONE". All I have to say is FUCK THAT! Some may think I'm bitter but I don't live in a fairytale where everyone has a "happy ending"... well maybe. (lol)

There are exceptions to the rules of the Game of Love. I believe in "The Game of Like" where I can like someone, flirt all I want, say things I don't mean and everyone goes home happy. The whole "Game of Love" is a bunch of b.s. to me. There should be NO GAMES when dealing with love. We are mature adults so why don't we skip all the bullshit and get right down to what we really want? Do you want a dude with a car, a job that supports your established status in the world, fresh; looking like he just stepped down from the pages of a GQ magazine, slanging a 12+ and built like a Line Backer? or Fellas do you want a girl that has an ass that would but Kim Kardashian to shame, with mean skills in the bedroom and in the kitchen, fresh, flawless and looks like she just stepped off the runway for the Spring line of Dolce&Gabbana?



OR...




WELL WE DON'T ALWAYS GET EVERYTHING WE WANT. So we have *normal people* (who aren't so bad on the eyes either) to work with. When we first start "talking to" someone it seems all fine and good. But shit, what can he or she do that you can benefit from? Do they at least have a job and pushing a whip to make up for that jacked up grill? DAMN! But don't get me wrong it can be the personality that makes up for the lack of good looks and everything else. I personally like beauty & brawn. "Yes you can have your cake and eat it too (that's what cake is for) duh!" as my BFF would say.

So here is the answer to that question. Love without sacrifice just equals like. I like you but not willing to give up my lifestyle for you.

Remember you are a human 1st and everything else comes with the territory.

~Kendrick

I'm The BLACK SHEEP...

Okay, so I was sitting in the kitchen just waiting to get a hearty bowl of homemade stew when I noticed that I was being ignored. It was one blow after the other. Like fireworks that just kept on coming. Boom, Boom, Boom; the signs kept coming and I put the pieces of the puzzle together to come to a sudden realization that I AM A BLACK SHEEP. It all started when I was younger I guess. I always was considered the baby and of course I now despise the whole thought of that "adolescent immaturity". But while I was in that kitchen I realized that my sister who I spent the majority of my life with under my mother's roof did not say ONE WORD to me when I came down to greet her. She was always socially retarded but damn I felt like Casper. I hugged my mother I guess because I felt some type of way about being ignored, but even my mother's warm embrace seemed cold and distant. It seems as though I am in the way of both of their's progress. Well damn, maybe its time for me to move the fuck out. If only I had a stable friend who wouldn't mind being a roommate. My family life is soooo FUCKED UP! I haven't talked to my father in over 2 months. Let alone my little sister who is now 9! Trust me, I have issues and I'm strong enough to admit it. So here I am, "The Black Sheep". The fun loving, free spirit, sexually active, complex, simple minded, sometimes naive, lazy and undefined socialist. And you know what? I DON'T have a problem with it. But in all reality; I need to get some business. Its 2010 and about time I stop thinking and start with the action. Fuck the people who try and stop me. Fuck emotions that seem to keep me in one place. Fuck my lovers. Love the Haters. And Just Plain FUCK YOU.

~Kendrick