Relationship 101:

     The topic of sex, love, pain etc... has always been kinda deja vu to me. It's always the same scenario. Boy meets girl, girl falls for boy or vice versa. One is more dominant and the other more passive. Blah Blah Blah. Let the game begin with Relationship 101. I recently had several conversations with friends on relationships and things of that matter. I have found that a lot of us don't even know what a relationship is. We build up ideas in our head that relationships are supposed to be this picture perfect, cookie cutter concept based on what we see in movies, books, reality etc.

     I have a female friend who desperately wants to be in a relationship. Now this goes back to the build up of what a relationship should be. It looks good on paper but in reality you never know what you really want until you test the waters. The idea of a long term relationship may look good but six months in and after the "honeymoon stage" you may notice things about the other person that may be hard to swallow. Just look at these movies as a reference: What's Love Got to Do With It and Waiting to Exhale. Are you Tina or are you Bernie?

      I also talked with one of my male friends who said he wouldn't mind a relationship just because he gets bored being by himself. "Well, why can't you entertain yourself?" I asked. The response was "There's nothing to do by myself". Translation: "I don't want to be seen as a loner going out to eat or to the movies by myself." There is plenty to do by yourself and quite frankly I enjoy making moves by myself sometimes. It can be fun; exciting even. You can meet new people without the crowd of your friends or a date. I call it being in a relationship with yourself.


     Two of my associates have said they haven't had sex in months. One admitting it has been a whole year. The two associates have said they wouldn't mind someone to cuddle with... and we all know what cuddling leads to.

Mhmmmm. I even know a few virgins who aren't strung out on the idea of sex or a relationship.

     Some of us believe in finding the "one" and some of us believe in friends with benefits. There's a balance and a comparison in there somewhere. A relationship is a concept that we all fall in love with but aren't willing to see past the glitz and glamor to reveal what the true meaning of it is.

When you find out, let me know.

-Renard