Forgiveness Pt. 1

When I was younger I did things without thinking them through first...as I still sometimes do today. I learned in order to avoid the whole "I'm sorry for..blah" I had to think things through and look at the bigger picture. Such as how the other person would feel or react to my words or my actions. You will be surprised what I came up with..

I have been deeply hurt by people close to me and those not so close to me. It's that one comment from someone that makes your heart just clench like its been put through a juicer. And for those moments, you experience rage, anger and all the above. You want to kill the person that brought such negative emotions into your cool demeanor.. but you also want to cry while stabbing them in the neck. The reason for that is a) what they said was the cold hard truth. b) the person that said those words or did you wrong was someone you love. c) you never knew/thought a person could be so cruel. We tend to take things that people we don't know or love say with a grain of salt. While those who we do care about and respect, their words, cut like knives.

The thing is how do we get over hurtful things people say or do... it is of course forgiveness. Forgiveness is often sought after in order to heal, BUT forgiveness starts within ourselves. We have to say "I forgive you", mentally in order to get over the hurdle that has hurt us emotionally. Now I know it feels a lot better when someone comes begging for forgiveness with your favorite food or flowers in hand (like a boyfriend or girlfriend who did something wrong) but the reality is forgiveness is something that happens from within.

Who wants to hold a grudge right? Get over it. Live

Renard

On a never ending Quest...

In life we all search for something. We may search for happiness, money, love and including ourselves. Being that I am happy with the way things are right now ( and I tend to be happy all the time) I believe nothing can make make us so unhappy or unsatisfied that we can't pull through to true happiness. Whenever I am in a situation that I know is no good for me or beneficial for growth I leave; I walk away. I believe we are in control of our own happiness. So ask yourself "What makes me happy?" And do whatever you have to do to bring that happiness through to you everyday.

Now some may believe money is happiness and some may think that money is the root of all evil. But I will tell you what money can and cannot buy. Money can buy you cute shoes, a nice new haircut, a car, a house and even temporary friends. But with all of the things you can buy with money does that credit card also buy you happiness? Money cannot buy you true happiness, money cannot buy you love, money cannot buy you back lost time. True happiness has to come from within. So with each swipe of your Visa ask yourself "Am I buying something that truly makes me happy?" Let me know if you can answer this.



Now the biggie. That's right; love. Many of us are in search of "the one". The "one" that will come along and scoop us out of the single line and into a life of bliss. You may ask "Is there someone really out there for me?" And the answer to that is of course there is. They are just hidden under a rock keeping a close watch on you waiting for the right time to approach. Now just like money, I do not recommend depending on someone or something else to make you happy. It's okay to be in a relationship with yourself. I love myself and that is enough. Even though at the end of the day it is comforting to know that someone out there really loves you for who you are (i.e. Family/friends). Now TELL yourself this "There is always one person that will love me." And that person is you.


Last but certainly not least is being on a never ending quest to find ourselves. I find something new about myself everyday. From things I like to things I dislike. And based off of the oh so many things I have experienced in life I continue to grow and blossom into the person I am today. I am never satisfied with just knowing enough to get by. There are so many mysteries of the world unsolved and so much knowledge that is available FOR FREE (i.e. Libraries, elders, museums). If you close yourself off to the new ways of life you may miss out in all the fun which could bring you that happiness, the money and even that one true love. Ask yourself this "If I met me...would I know me?"


At the end of the day You control your own fate. You control your own happiness. You are in control of your own life. I am in control of my own destiny, my own happiness, my own money, and the people that I choose to love.

~ Kendrick

Share the love...

Welcome. Love is in the air today and hate for some but I in particular feel festive being that I do have a beautiful life to love. I'm a lover and lovers love life...not to mention yes, I too have a Valentine this year. This year brings a whole new meaning to the spirit of Valentines day. This year brings change all over. It brings a change in the White House, it brings change in relationships and changes in the choices we make everyday. This year seems to all about love and how we share it; Equality if you will (i.e. The Armani Exchange Ad above). Yes, two guys, two girls, and the hetero couple in between. You gotta love it!

If your single its the perfect opportunity to start looking and examining your choices. Because like you, there are others out there in search for love. Or maybe your not looking and your happily single and not so ready to mingle...which is good. I'm all for independence (the shoes on my feet; I BROUGHT EM!) lol. I like to see the whole cliche couple stuff like Public Displays of Affection, Stuffed Teddy Bears and the infamous Heart shaped box of chocolates. Its cute (in small doses). In all of this don't forget to LOVE YOURSELF FIRST!



Now, I have said I don't believe in fairytale life stories and I stand by that still. I mean Cinderella had to go through a lot just to get her prince charming including keeping a fresh pedicure so her feet can floss in those glass slippers. And Prince Charming had to slay dragons and demons just to even get to the princess and then still had to deal with her family in the end. Point blank: There will be times on our conquest for love where we may come across detours some good some bad. But we must fight. Because if love won't save the day then what will? So I hope all those soldiers of love out there cuddle up with your significant other and let them know how much they mean to you not just today but EVERYDAY!

After all, you had to fight to find the one didn't you?

Happy Valentines Day!

~ Kendrick

I'm The BLACK SHEEP...

Okay, so I was sitting in the kitchen just waiting to get a hearty bowl of homemade stew when I noticed that I was being ignored. It was one blow after the other. Like fireworks that just kept on coming. Boom, Boom, Boom; the signs kept coming and I put the pieces of the puzzle together to come to a sudden realization that I AM A BLACK SHEEP. It all started when I was younger I guess. I always was considered the baby and of course I now despise the whole thought of that "adolescent immaturity". But while I was in that kitchen I realized that my sister who I spent the majority of my life with under my mother's roof did not say ONE WORD to me when I came down to greet her. She was always socially retarded but damn I felt like Casper. I hugged my mother I guess because I felt some type of way about being ignored, but even my mother's warm embrace seemed cold and distant. It seems as though I am in the way of both of their's progress. Well damn, maybe its time for me to move the fuck out. If only I had a stable friend who wouldn't mind being a roommate. My family life is soooo FUCKED UP! I haven't talked to my father in over 2 months. Let alone my little sister who is now 9! Trust me, I have issues and I'm strong enough to admit it. So here I am, "The Black Sheep". The fun loving, free spirit, sexually active, complex, simple minded, sometimes naive, lazy and undefined socialist. And you know what? I DON'T have a problem with it. But in all reality; I need to get some business. Its 2010 and about time I stop thinking and start with the action. Fuck the people who try and stop me. Fuck emotions that seem to keep me in one place. Fuck my lovers. Love the Haters. And Just Plain FUCK YOU.

~Kendrick