Relationship 101:

     The topic of sex, love, pain etc... has always been kinda deja vu to me. It's always the same scenario. Boy meets girl, girl falls for boy or vice versa. One is more dominant and the other more passive. Blah Blah Blah. Let the game begin with Relationship 101. I recently had several conversations with friends on relationships and things of that matter. I have found that a lot of us don't even know what a relationship is. We build up ideas in our head that relationships are supposed to be this picture perfect, cookie cutter concept based on what we see in movies, books, reality etc.

     I have a female friend who desperately wants to be in a relationship. Now this goes back to the build up of what a relationship should be. It looks good on paper but in reality you never know what you really want until you test the waters. The idea of a long term relationship may look good but six months in and after the "honeymoon stage" you may notice things about the other person that may be hard to swallow. Just look at these movies as a reference: What's Love Got to Do With It and Waiting to Exhale. Are you Tina or are you Bernie?

      I also talked with one of my male friends who said he wouldn't mind a relationship just because he gets bored being by himself. "Well, why can't you entertain yourself?" I asked. The response was "There's nothing to do by myself". Translation: "I don't want to be seen as a loner going out to eat or to the movies by myself." There is plenty to do by yourself and quite frankly I enjoy making moves by myself sometimes. It can be fun; exciting even. You can meet new people without the crowd of your friends or a date. I call it being in a relationship with yourself.


     Two of my associates have said they haven't had sex in months. One admitting it has been a whole year. The two associates have said they wouldn't mind someone to cuddle with... and we all know what cuddling leads to.

Mhmmmm. I even know a few virgins who aren't strung out on the idea of sex or a relationship.

     Some of us believe in finding the "one" and some of us believe in friends with benefits. There's a balance and a comparison in there somewhere. A relationship is a concept that we all fall in love with but aren't willing to see past the glitz and glamor to reveal what the true meaning of it is.

When you find out, let me know.

-Renard

Love without Sacrifice equals.....

So it's a typical night and I'm sitting in front of 2 screens one hosting a myriad of tabs holding future shopping endeavors and the other showing "The Real World" (yea right). I'm up, as usual around 3:00 am trying to figure out how to make a change for the better being that its a new year and all.

So I come across a certain saying...NO question which states "Whats love without sacrifice?" OK NOW! I have had my fair share of the good, bad and the down right ugly side of relationships, but what happens when we actually find "love"? For some its nothing but a pure blissful MUTUAL connection for one another; but for some its just lust; SEX. Now based on a few years of experience I have learned to seperate the two. I have managed to keep the heart away from a not so serious relationships where I just do the dirt, pick up and move on. Now in the past when I was just a pure innocent soul I believed in true love and finding that quote on quote "ONE". All I have to say is FUCK THAT! Some may think I'm bitter but I don't live in a fairytale where everyone has a "happy ending"... well maybe. (lol)

There are exceptions to the rules of the Game of Love. I believe in "The Game of Like" where I can like someone, flirt all I want, say things I don't mean and everyone goes home happy. The whole "Game of Love" is a bunch of b.s. to me. There should be NO GAMES when dealing with love. We are mature adults so why don't we skip all the bullshit and get right down to what we really want? Do you want a dude with a car, a job that supports your established status in the world, fresh; looking like he just stepped down from the pages of a GQ magazine, slanging a 12+ and built like a Line Backer? or Fellas do you want a girl that has an ass that would but Kim Kardashian to shame, with mean skills in the bedroom and in the kitchen, fresh, flawless and looks like she just stepped off the runway for the Spring line of Dolce&Gabbana?



OR...




WELL WE DON'T ALWAYS GET EVERYTHING WE WANT. So we have *normal people* (who aren't so bad on the eyes either) to work with. When we first start "talking to" someone it seems all fine and good. But shit, what can he or she do that you can benefit from? Do they at least have a job and pushing a whip to make up for that jacked up grill? DAMN! But don't get me wrong it can be the personality that makes up for the lack of good looks and everything else. I personally like beauty & brawn. "Yes you can have your cake and eat it too (that's what cake is for) duh!" as my BFF would say.

So here is the answer to that question. Love without sacrifice just equals like. I like you but not willing to give up my lifestyle for you.

Remember you are a human 1st and everything else comes with the territory.

~Kendrick